a shameless attempt to compare myself with Veronica Roth, Henry Cavill makes another appearance, and where is proxy?

Brace yourselves, y’all: I have news.  Whether it’s good or bad you can decide, but here it is: “Project: Proxy” has been terminated, temporarily.  *tear*

I’ve ranted to some of you about the issues it has been giving me and honestly guys, I can’t handle it right now.  I’ve always read / heard writers joke about their characters “taking control” or “not listening to them” or a scene having its own ideas of where it’s going.  And I really truly thought I knew what they were talking about.


I was an innocent babe.

A fool, an amateur, an idiot.


Proxy actually hates me, and it’s rather heartbreaking- like a little child you’ve nurtured from infancy who suddenly says “no” and eyes you with disdain.  And yet I’m far too attached to discipline as of yet.  So we’ll see what happens with my own dear Proxy– I’m a firm believer in not leaving your characters hanging, in giving them if not a happily ever after then at least some sort of closure.  And I did break out the old versions of Proxy I never got more than 14 pages in, including (but not limited to) versions where “Jude” was this kick-butt and yet middle-aged tutor guy called Malachi who was far too heavily influenced by the character of Red in The Edge on the Sword (aaaaamazing book) and a piece where the “Roe” character doesn’t even know about the courtship until it starts happening and decides to be a freelancing spy. I’d like to think the story has improved.  Oh, and the messenger, “Liam”, calls her “lass”…ummm…I had probably just read The Lioness and her Knight. I’m gonna excuse myself this time.

But anyway, that’s the deal with Proxy right now.  I’m a little sad to see it go, but I have to chop it for now. It will return!

I have, however, been continuing “Finding You” and “Esmeralda Draft #2” whenever I get a moment, and I like some of where they’re both going.  I’m dying to introduce my character “Des” in “Finding You”, and “Esmeralda” is finally getting to what I think is the interesting stuff.  That being said, I am in love with the below picture of Henry Cavill (who, if you don’t know, “plays” Leopold in the movie version in my head).

Also, last quick thing about Leopold.

I read this one book about a year ago. Perhaps you’ve heard of it, or perhaps you live under an enormous rock.  Either that or you’re homeschooled. (I’m allowed to make those jokes.)  The book is called Divergent.  I’m a critical reader, okay?  I’ve found flaws (albeit minor) with Shannon Hale, Suzanne Collins, Orson Scott Card…my idols. (Jane Austen remains blameless, folks.)  But I swear, Divergent (Veronica Roth) was pretty close to perfection. Pretty close.  I’m still freaking out waiting for my hold at the library for the sequel, but I’ll see how that goes.

The only thing about the book that super duper irritated me (*spoiler alert*) is that the guy, known initially as “Four”, has a secret identity that is later discovered by the heroine, Tris, and she ever after calls him by his real name: Tobias.  Now…I have nothing against the name Tobias (I have this super cool friend with that name, though we call him Toby).  But it did. not. suit. him.  It drove me nuts.  And just as Veronica Roth changed the name of the “hero” half-way through the book to a completely different one, I’ve done the same with Leopold.

Is that allowed?  Because when I was writing the first draft I planned on Evangeline calling him “Bastian” throughout the entire book- true identity revealed and all.  But then…it happened.  He became Leopold., because he’s different than Bastian, just as “Esmeralda” is different than the Evangeline he knew in prison- they’ve both changed and they’re both following a different set of protocols and fulfilling different roles in such their current setting.  So.  Have I done wrong?  Because I don’t think I’d want to change it now.

I’m rather in love with Leopold, in a different way that I was with Bastian.  Does that make sense?  Oh well.  I hope it does. :/

[P.S. world- did y’all hear that Henry Cavill is playing Superman with Amy Adams as Lois Lane?  I’m not freaking out or ANYTHING.]



  • Sara-Anne L.

    I just read the edited version of the story on Figment 🙂 I think you’re getting to the good part too, and I’m really excited to find out what on earth happens after the part where you stopped last time!
    Anyway, I can TOTALLY understand your frustration with Divergent. I had a similar problem with one of my stories where I couldn’t think of a name for a guy and called him Z for about ten pages. Then I couldn’t find a name to fit him, because in my mind he was Z. I think in Esmeralda though, the name change works fine, for two reasons: You change his name before we really get to know him outside of Eva’s mind. To her he’s Bastian, but when we meet him and picture him for the first time, his name is Leopold. The second reason is that to me at least, Leopold fits him better than Bastian. Actually, he IS Leopold.
    That’s my two cents, anyway 😉

  • Oh wow, thank you for re-reading so much, Sarah! Golly! 🙂 I’m flattered. And that’s really encouraging to hear that the name change works for Leopold- I love your perspective on it too- I hadn’t thought about that, how we get used to him as Leopold before we meet him that way, but it works out, huh? Thanks! And haha I feel your pain about “Z”. I had an character called “X” (actually he still doesn’t have a name) in my story “Avery” and it was frustrating because nothing really fit him.
    I’m glad you like the name Leopold, too! I think I mentioned that it wasn’t my intention that Evangeline would ever call him anything other than “Bastian”, even when she learned the truth. But my characters had other plans. 😉

  • Tiffany (J.A.)

    I don’t know why, but for some reason, I have a preference for Leopold as well, since it suits him, and it seems real; but with Evy, well…she’s always been Evy to me. Esmeralda is just something she used at the spur of a moment, and also seems too much of a mouth full. I guess it just seems…fake. A cover image. Leopold is the real thing (and so wonderful as well), and if he recognized your character for who she really was, I think it’d be better.

  • Ooh, I love to hear your thoughts! I agree- “Esmeralda” just isn’t her name. It’s definitely just a cover. But Evy / Evangeline is her name. I’m *psyched* you agree. 😀 And I feel the same way about Leopold- it’s the real thing for him.