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It’s kinda awkward when you have a crush on one of your own characters.

It is not, however, infrequent among writers, I’ve surmised.  And this is certainly not the first time it has happened to me.

Des (Despard) Morrisay is my most recent “crush”, though that sounds mind-blowingly vain and conceited and arrogant, since I did think him up, after all.  But….he’s kind of adorable.  Trust me, whether or not it works out on the page, he’s basically perfect in my mind.  In an entirely different way than Tam is perfect.  Because…*River Song voice*…”Spoilers!” sadly, most of this book is about Isla learning to be strong without Tam, so there isn’t as much character development as I’d like for him.

Oh! Before I forget, Finding You is on Pinterest! Check out the board I’ve created here (I’ll be adding to it fairly often)!

But anyway.  I mentioned when I first announced Finding You in this post that I had a cast of supporting characters that I was excited about, and now you’ve met some of them- so here they are.

Des, my personal favorite, is imagined quite a bit after Dominic Cooper in appearance, with a bit of Peter Pan’s personality thrown in (my impression of Peter Pan from reading it as an 11-year-old, when I fell in love with him).  I haven’t honestly seen Dominic Cooper in many movies (for Sense and Sensibility I prefer Greg Wise as Wickham) but there’s something about him in Mamma Mia! that I really love.  My impression of his personality showing through in the role definitely impacted the character in my mind who later became Des.  Here are a couple of images to give you an idea.

    

Quite the charmer, huh?  I think so.

I’ve also been introducing y’all to the other girls in the cell, one-by-one.  Here are two of them, who play larger parts than the others:

    

The first is how I imagine Valentina looking- I don’t know who the picture is off, but the second I saw it I knew who Valentina was. She’s a bit more upfront of a character than some of the cast- at least, I think she’s a little more open.  You can tell who she is right off by what she does in a crisis situation, how she tries to be strong/put others first, etc.  At least I hope that’s obvious.  Even still she surprises me at times.  I hadn’t planned the bit about her brother getting shot until I was writing it and thought, “Of course she had a little brother.”

The second image is Abbie Cornish, in Sucker Punch.  That movie….oh man, it rocked my world.  I watch it whenever I can get my hands on it, and blast the soundtrack like nobody’s business.  It’s…oh man. I don’t even know. It’s epic.  One of my favorite movies ever, and the opening scene is by far the greatest opening scene in the history of film.  Anyway.  The character of Sweetpea, played by Abbie Cornish, is strong-willed and kinda kick-*ahem*-butt, but aside from appearance, that’s where the similarities end.  Sweetpea is protective and, when it comes to her sister, selfless.  She’s also not one to take risks that have little-to-no chance of paying out.  My Phoebe is very different, as I hope I’ll be able to portray.  Escape, and not the people around her, is what she cares about.  She also dresses a little differently. 😉

I’m nearly ready to introduce y’all to Oliver, who I am super excited about, and Josiah Boyne, who is also….um, exciting.  He’s a character at least.  Though I’ve already let you briefly meet Zachariah Curram, I’m holding off from giving you my thoughts on him, and any pictures for the time being because I want his character to speak for itself.  There’s a scene with him coming up that I am really excited about writing.  I’ll post a second wave of character introductions a little later. 🙂

Thanks for reading!  Comment and let me know what you think of the way I’ve imagined the characters, and let me know how your imagination differs!

READ FINDING YOU HERE

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Brace yourselves, y’all: I have news.  Whether it’s good or bad you can decide, but here it is: “Project: Proxy” has been terminated, temporarily.  *tear*

I’ve ranted to some of you about the issues it has been giving me and honestly guys, I can’t handle it right now.  I’ve always read / heard writers joke about their characters “taking control” or “not listening to them” or a scene having its own ideas of where it’s going.  And I really truly thought I knew what they were talking about.

I DID NOT.

I was an innocent babe.

A fool, an amateur, an idiot.

I KNEW NOTHING.

Proxy actually hates me, and it’s rather heartbreaking- like a little child you’ve nurtured from infancy who suddenly says “no” and eyes you with disdain.  And yet I’m far too attached to discipline as of yet.  So we’ll see what happens with my own dear Proxy– I’m a firm believer in not leaving your characters hanging, in giving them if not a happily ever after then at least some sort of closure.  And I did break out the old versions of Proxy I never got more than 14 pages in, including (but not limited to) versions where “Jude” was this kick-butt and yet middle-aged tutor guy called Malachi who was far too heavily influenced by the character of Red in The Edge on the Sword (aaaaamazing book) and a piece where the “Roe” character doesn’t even know about the courtship until it starts happening and decides to be a freelancing spy. I’d like to think the story has improved.  Oh, and the messenger, “Liam”, calls her “lass”…ummm…I had probably just read The Lioness and her Knight. I’m gonna excuse myself this time.

But anyway, that’s the deal with Proxy right now.  I’m a little sad to see it go, but I have to chop it for now. It will return!

I have, however, been continuing “Finding You” and “Esmeralda Draft #2” whenever I get a moment, and I like some of where they’re both going.  I’m dying to introduce my character “Des” in “Finding You”, and “Esmeralda” is finally getting to what I think is the interesting stuff.  That being said, I am in love with the below picture of Henry Cavill (who, if you don’t know, “plays” Leopold in the movie version in my head).

Also, last quick thing about Leopold.

I read this one book about a year ago. Perhaps you’ve heard of it, or perhaps you live under an enormous rock.  Either that or you’re homeschooled. (I’m allowed to make those jokes.)  The book is called Divergent.  I’m a critical reader, okay?  I’ve found flaws (albeit minor) with Shannon Hale, Suzanne Collins, Orson Scott Card…my idols. (Jane Austen remains blameless, folks.)  But I swear, Divergent (Veronica Roth) was pretty close to perfection. Pretty close.  I’m still freaking out waiting for my hold at the library for the sequel, but I’ll see how that goes.

The only thing about the book that super duper irritated me (*spoiler alert*) is that the guy, known initially as “Four”, has a secret identity that is later discovered by the heroine, Tris, and she ever after calls him by his real name: Tobias.  Now…I have nothing against the name Tobias (I have this super cool friend with that name, though we call him Toby).  But it did. not. suit. him.  It drove me nuts.  And just as Veronica Roth changed the name of the “hero” half-way through the book to a completely different one, I’ve done the same with Leopold.

Is that allowed?  Because when I was writing the first draft I planned on Evangeline calling him “Bastian” throughout the entire book- true identity revealed and all.  But then…it happened.  He became Leopold., because he’s different than Bastian, just as “Esmeralda” is different than the Evangeline he knew in prison- they’ve both changed and they’re both following a different set of protocols and fulfilling different roles in such their current setting.  So.  Have I done wrong?  Because I don’t think I’d want to change it now.

I’m rather in love with Leopold, in a different way that I was with Bastian.  Does that make sense?  Oh well.  I hope it does. :/

[P.S. world- did y’all hear that Henry Cavill is playing Superman with Amy Adams as Lois Lane?  I’m not freaking out or ANYTHING.]

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When I was eleven I wrote this story about a brother and sister living in a London orphanage with a mom who was a…well, she had a less than reputable past. They were shunned, stuck in the basement all night and it was sad and pitiable and I thought I was a very fine writer indeed.  They eventually got this friend who was sent down to live with them, called Sebastian (I’ve always had a thing for that name, saw what you will) who contracted a fever and in a *very* touching scene…died.  It was the first time I ever cried while writing something (not that it happens often now, mind you) and I was seriously impressed with my own skill.  (The other day I reread “Beth and Oliver” as it was temporarily entitled and was verging on appalled at my own arrogance- it was cute and mildly sad but nothing to shed a tear over.)

All that to tell you that I get kinnnnddd of caught up in my characters– again, it’s probably some form of pride, but I think every writer does it.  I also hate them sometimes.  (I once finished a story because although I had run out of inspiration and hated it, I felt I owed my heroine an ending since I’d bestowed on her an abusive father- I didn’t want her to have to live with that life, even on paper. Yeah….)

But funny thing: because I knew from the start that Roman was going to be the “second guy”– the one Will Scarlet, the St. John Rivers, the Nick Carraway- I wrote him with very little real love in my heart for him.  I never gave him a chance. I realize, as I reread and edit, how unfair I was.  In the brief moments that I did give him that chance (chapter 46 is my favorite part of his, now that I reread it) he’s actually kind of adorable at times.

And now…. *puts on River Song accent* Spoilers!

Roman-

As I do this rewrite, I’m taking the advice of some of my readers and fleshing Roman out a little more- he’ll still be the same person, but now he’s got a past, or at least his family does.  So, a couple of things:

He had a brother and sister.

His brother and sister were killed before he was old enough to remember them.

Hence Natalia is depressed and Nicolai is furious- guess who killed his kids? Not gonna say, sorry.  It’s all coming soon. But he has a motive other than justice for revenge and there’s always been a lot of pressure on Roman.

His eventual craziness is going to be more believable and a little less…crazy.  More just infuriated / a little out of it / jealous.  At least I hope so. I’ve got my fingers crossed that my writing talent will improve by the time I get to those scenes.

Jakob-

I’m so excited! I’ve found Jakob’s place in the book, his role, his story, his relationship with Evy, his entrance and exit points– and I think I’ve got down what he looks like…..Voila!

Daniel Craig…but with reddish-brown hair.  I’ve thought he’d make a good assassin / tough-guy character after being awed by his performances in Road to Perdition and especially Defiance. 🙂  Cool guy.


Natalia-

I’m reworking her a bit too, but she’s going to be in it less than Bekah.  I basically picture her like a slightly less gorgeous Natalie Portman (nothing to do with the similar names). 🙂

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What do you think of Aaron?  Hate him?  Love him?  Think you’re the only one who “gets” him?  Is he all bad?  Good?  A little of both?  Maybe just too determined, or too block-headed? (Too much of a guy? 😉 )  Bekah loves him, but Evy sees him as two-faced… So what do you think?

I’ve tried to make him as consistent as possible, but as this is a first draft I confess many of my characters have flaws and self-contradictions.  Alas.  But I thiiinnkkk (tell me if I’m wrong) just about every one of his actions can be attributed to determination, always with one goal in sight.  He gives Evy pep-talks and encouragement for the sole purpose of spurring her on- it’s not like he gives her a chance to back down (ever) once she’s in.

I don’t know exactly what Aaron looks like- dark-ish hair, I’m sure of that much.  Kind of tall, though not so much as Nicolai.  Here’s a picture of a guy I think might be about right- what do you think?  (His name’s Peter Facinelli– I don’t think I’ve seen him in any movies, but he was in *argg* Twilight.)

What do you think?  I’m kinda liking him. 🙂

And now- Nicolai.

I have a number of questions about him myself, so I crave your thoughts.  I’m pretty certain he’s very Russian.  (His whole family has Russian names, as I’ve mentioned before, named after my lovely Ukrainian friends.)  He’s tall, far from talkative, kinda melancholy, probably has gorgeous eyes (in my experience, they all do 🙂 ).  But he’s in some ways a somewhat lame character.  Until the death of his son, I was really frustrated with him- couldn’t he think of anything interesting to say?  What was his problem anyway?  Now the fact that he doesn’t talk has a reason, at least.   Anyway, what are second drafts for, right?  (Basically what I’m saying is tell me how to fix him.)

Jakob-

Again, I’m frustrated with this guy.  I wanted someone who had a fun relationship with Evy- hinting at a shady past, telling secrets, maybe some sarcasm- and then… I kinda peetered out.  Inspiration for Jakob’s character = zapped.  Nada. Zilch.  Just not happening.  Now I’ve excused him from the scene as gracefully as I can.  :/  (Quick fact: I can’t seem to escape putting someone bythe name of Jakob (usually Jacob) in my stories, probably because from the moment I was born I had the constant companion of my older brother Jake (Jacob, when we were younger) to lead me in a thousand tumultuous escapades.  So yeah.  I’ve known Jake longer than I’ve known Jesus. 😀 He appears in about half of my stories, though this version was nothing like my brother.)

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I am in love with Russia.  I’ve never been there, but the culture, the history, the revolutions, wars, politics, fashions, fairy-tales, names and language are fascinating to me.  Plus I love winter and snow and fur coats.  😉   Probably one of my favorite novels is Eva Ibbotson’s A Countess Below Stairs.  It gives me a taste for the Russian culture that I can’t seem to rinse out of my mouth.  *shivers excitedly*

Honestly, I don’t pretend to know anything about Russia yet, so please don’t hold me in contempt if you do.  🙂

When my parents were dating and then engaged, 21 years ago, they helped an entire family (as in, the babies up to the grandparetns and all kinds of aunts, uncles, and cousins branching off to every side) of Ukrainian refugees acclimate to America.  They helped them learn English through the Bible, comparing scriptures in each others’ languages, etc.  My mom, who has always been good with linguistics, can still read and speak a little Russian.  So now that these people have children of their own, children my age, I’ve been privileged enough to grow up going to the glorious, splendid, overly-catered-with-luscious-Russian-food weddings all my life.  I love it all- the service is in Russian, and although I understand only a couple of words, I revel in it.  The food is marvelous.  The people are ALL lovely and welcoming (they learn your name and instantly start calling you family).  The food is out of this world.  The weddings are grand, extravagant, joyful and looooong.  Did I mention the food?  I am in love with this culture.  If you can’t tell.

So it happens that I often draw from it.  I don’t know as much as I would like (which I’m working on), but I do know a lot of names- and names are my favorite.  🙂  So here’s the list so far for Esmeralda (the * means I have a friend by this name) –

Roman*

Nicolai*

Natalia*

Jakob

Daria

I mentioned someone named Willem once…

Leopold is eastern-European…

It has been mentioned to me that I might make the Russian theme a bit more apparent, more of the story, and I am thinking that on my second or third write I will do just that.   Honestly that list doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s not only in Esmeralda that I do this.  One of my more recent stories, The Capricious King’s Daughter, is set in a very Russian world- I’m still developing it, but winter is a key component, and the names of the characters so far are Asha, Eduard, Elizaveta, Dessa, Yuriy, Galina, Luba, Ivan, Fyodor, Milek, Georgiy, Efim, Pavel and Sergei.  Haha…yeah, it’s an obsession.  I love Celtic names too, as you’ll know if you’ve read Betrayal.  🙂

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:::Daria, the physician (Marscel) ‘s daughter:::

She isn’t a great-big character, but she is definitely one of those that I pictured straight off.  If any of you have seen “When in Rome” (chick-flick, I know) then you may remember the heroine’s assistant at her job, Stacy.  The actress who played Stacy, Kate Micucci, is (I think) adorable.  (I know she has been in other things; I just haven’t seen anything else.)  I find that (perhaps annoyingly so) I frequently mention Daria’s large eyes, her fairy-like way, and innocent appearance.  I guess I can accredit this to how vividly I picture her.  So here she is: Kate Micucci, aka Daria, the physician’s daughter.  (Annnnd I am kind of jealous of her hair- or anyone who looks good in short hair.)

    

By the way- I remember when Daria is telling Evangeline about Leopold studying with her father the physicians’ art, she says something about what an apt student he was, and it says that she “sighs wistfully” if I remember my wording correctly.  I toyed with the idea of her having a kind of crush on Leopold, who she would have, in a sense, grown up with / in the shadow of.  However, I know I left that phrase in there, but I decided against it.  Perhaps, in my rewrite, I’ll add a bit of Daria feeling like she never measured up when Leopold was around, or looking up to him a lot.  I don’t know, those are just ideas.  I’d love your input.  🙂  As you know if you’re caught up, Daria later teases Evangeline about Leopold, with no hard feelings.  So…pardon me for the inconsistency.

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I know that some of my readers really like Roman, but…I’ve had such a specific purpose for him from the beginning that it’s hard for me to feel any warmth toward him.  Yeah, it’s sad (his fate) in a way, but I can honestly say I didn’t mourn his loss.  However, I always pictured him as quite a charming (and handsome? Yes.) feller.

He’s cute and all, rather charming, jealous, passionate, driven- maybe a little too driven?  Anyway…

For moral reasons, I don’t watch Glee, but I ADORE the concept and love that someone has made a musical series (musicals are kind of my favorite thing ever).  I also listen to just about all the music off of youtube from it.  And I thikn Chord Overstreet (Sam) is adorable.  That’s how I’ve pictured Roman since the very beginning, though I’d like to tell myself I wasn’t just trying to come up with a character who looked like this.

So here he is, Chord Overstreet (sick name, right??) aka Roman.